I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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