you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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