I'm sorry my penis didn't work
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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