worst night to have a conscience
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize