just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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