I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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