That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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