I'm going to jail i love you
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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