Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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