Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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