So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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