the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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