I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize