Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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