grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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