did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize