Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize