Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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