we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will be naked everywhere
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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