He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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