The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize