i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize