is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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