I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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