Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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