I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
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My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the raccoons are back...
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