I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize