I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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