Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize