I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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