I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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