It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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