bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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