he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
stop calling my apartment porn island.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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