dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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