I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize