if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize