Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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