Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize