You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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