someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
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No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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