I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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