they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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