i was born a porn star she said
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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