STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh god it's open bar.
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