forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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