She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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