You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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