im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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