There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize